With everything going on in the world right now, it's time somebody starts asking the questions people of Earth REALLY need to know.
So, What is bologna made of, why is it pronounced "baloney," and why don't we spell things/names like "Tony" the same way?
"You're baloney without the mayo." - Frank Zappa
Let's get this out of the way quick. Who names a food "Bologna?" Well, Bologna (pronounced "ba•LO•nya") is a beautiful town in Italy, known for it's cuisine and hard-left politics. Yes, ironically, this collection of "something-for-everyone" meat is named after the most "something-for-everyone" political town in Italy, where the Italian Communist Party originated (move over, Insane Clown Posse!).
But why is it pronounced "ba•LO•ney?" Well, many say it was due to the crossover of the word from Italian to English, where many words switch from an "ia" sound to an "ee" sound, like Italia to Italy. But it wasn't until the 1920's that the term "baloney" was coined - meaning rubbish, nonsense; bullshit. Thank you, Gov. Alfred E. Smith of New York, who used the term to regularly describe Washington's bureaucracy throughout the late 1920's-30's.
Now for the real juicy stuff. The meat and potatoes.. or at least the meat and the.. unmentionables?! (mentalfloss)
Well, not exactly. Bologna has been working on its reputation for many years. As food quality laws continue getting more strict, bologna has less and less of the stuff you and I don't want in it.
The term you're looking for is "byproducts."
Byproducts, in bologna, is any animal product not made of "skeletal muscle." If you take a look in your local supermarkets, you're likely to notice less bologna with byproducts, and thanks to current food regulations, any bologna WITH byproducts will have them listed clearly on the label. (thetakeout)
So what should we do?!
Well, with rising health trends and regulations, bologna is getting less and less mysterious. Bologna is full of salt, fat, and a multitude of deferent meats, all liquified and squished together to force coagulation, but depending on your current diet and lifestyle, those really aren't scary things anymore. Maybe it's time to go get that fried bologna sandwich you've been puting off for the last few years? Or maybe you ate a bologna sandwich while reading this, and maybe now it's time for round two. Regardless of how you take your meat, we can all come together, hold hands, and sing joyously, knowing that bologna is losing the baloney - no baloney!